She was there and then she wasn’t.
When the doctor broke my water, they told us it was thick with meconium. This had happened with our first daughter also. We had done this before.
It would be fine, just a hiccup.
I pushed any anxiety to the back of my mind. It wouldn’t help us here in this space and time. I watched the monitors. She was having decelerations in her heart rate with each contraction. Again, I told myself to be the patient. I’m not the nurse; focus on why I was there.
One push. She’s earthside. She’s on my chest. But only for a moment, long enough to even realize that she was. They took her to the warmer.
“Mom, we’re gonna head down to nursery and help her with some oxygen”.
They took her down the hall. Garret followed her. I made a choice not to worry. I had no control. I had to trust they would take care of her. I made conversation with the doctor and nurse through after birth and stitches.
“Mom, her xray is bad. She’s not oxygenating well. She’s really working to breathe we are going to ship her to a bigger facility”.
I broke down in front of the pediatrician. They took her for a ride in a helicopter. A piece of my heart flew by my window. Garret followed her in the car. I focused on drinking, walking, peeing.
Garret arrived and stood sentry by her new bassinet. He kept texting. 8 hours after first meeting, she and I finally held hands. She was safe. She was responding to treatment.
We spent 3 weeks in Topeka while her lungs healed and she grew. We achieved tiny milestones each day. Had setbacks and overcame them too. From the moment of her arrival to the moment we crossed the threshold home, Greer, her daddy, and I received some of the most competent and sincere care.
She is ours, but we have a lot of people to credit with bringing her home to us.
Birth images captured by the talented Karen Utley of Karen E. Photography when Greer’s birth overlapped with Tammy’s emergency surgery. In the event of emergency conflict, Tammy uses a back up photographer then edits all images for consistency in style per client’s expectations. Thank you, Karen, for stepping in! Such beautiful moments captured exceptionally well!
Greer’s mommy and daddy got some great cell phone images during her NICU stay. Tammy took some time to touch them up and include them in Greer’s birth story!